well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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