Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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