Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
