the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
im on a boat
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