i don't like sucking hair
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
