I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
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I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
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can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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