i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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