i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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