Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize