She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
