Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
