Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i came on her dog
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
