Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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