I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
