my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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