508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
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Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
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The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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