So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The uberlube is also flammable
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
