i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
