Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
