you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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