I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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