I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
