I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
