this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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