she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
