I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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