Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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