the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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