I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
