I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
