I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
