i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
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I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
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I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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