who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
