Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
