Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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