I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
