Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
