So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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