So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize