Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
love makes seman taste better
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
