A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
