we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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