Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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