Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
That accounts for only three of the penises
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
