butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
