So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
