perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
