I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
