I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
