Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
