ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
