omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
