Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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