Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
