I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i already hear my dad disowning me
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
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