If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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