How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
